Story telling is as old as language. And with each telling, over days or generations, the details are inevitably, inadvertently (or advertently) more vividly recalled. The fish that got away became larger and larger in the retelling of the tale.
In Fair Haven, George Adams and Alex Campbell were among the many veterans of the Grand Army of the Republic with Civil War tales to tell around the potbelly stove at Ben Hill’s barbershop or Mendel’s shoe store.
As a boy born in 1900, Ray Sant greatly enjoyed listening to these storytellers. He also enjoyed sharing what he’d heard with others, as he did in his books, Fair Haven Folks and Folklore and Trails, Sails and Rails where he tells us, “The veterans were in time succeeded about the stove by George Chappel, Bill Corkery and Ed Mendel.”
The Fair Haven Garage on Main Street was purchased by W. Roy Maynard in 1927. Over the following years the bench in front of the garage became a favorite place where one might pass away an afternoon listening to a colorful yarn or the recounting of a true story. This became known as the Liars and Loafers Bench.
Eventually, during the summer of 1956, good friends Carlton Brown, Leon Griggs, Roy Maynard, Walter Phillips, Ray Sant, and Lawrence Turner, following a particular disagreements over the true facts of a familiar story hit upon using their well greased imaginations to compose a manifesto for what they named the Loyal Order of Liars and Loafers, with the official motto:
I know not what the facts may be.
These stories are as was told to me.
LOOLAL meetings were facilitated by the Liars and Loafers Ladies Auxiliary (LALLA) consisting of member’s wives who prepared refreshments. These “meetings” seemed to be a good reason to get together at a members home for a meal and attempts to out do each other with new whoppers and old tales.
The Bay Shore Bugle
The LOOLAL produced at least one issue of a single sheet publication they named the Bay Shore Bugle. It contained old stories from the Fair Haven Register and perhaps other sources.
The Loyal Odor of Liars and Loafers existed in a very special time and place in Fair Haven’s history. Below are a few LOOLAL stories from the era to illustrate the nature of the mindset of its members.
Pirates
Matthew Howe owned a small sailing vessel named the Trader. This plied about Lake Ontario carrying local commodities, fish and produce. One summer Bob Gibson and Gene Barrus shipped on as deck hands (Most local boys had at least one trip with Matt). Later on, Matt was telling the two boys about a dream he had, as follows:
His boat was heavily laden with a cargo of barrel staves and cider out of Fair Haven that must be delivered on a contract in Canada. As they sailed into the Bay of Quinty, they were boarded by pirates.
A furious battle raged with eventual victory being gained by Matt and his crew driving them off. Matt, with the help of Bob Gibson, had just enough strength left to throw overboard the dead bodies of the pirates.
Gene was wounded and faint from loss of blood, and begged, “I’m alive, don’t throw me over!” Matt turned to Gene and said, “Gene, you are such a darned liar, we couldn’t believe you so we threw you overboard anyway.”
The Body
The body washed up on the shore on the island or perhaps the man had been murdered there. We didn’t know the details. A hunter came across the man’s remains and reported it to the Coroner. The body had been exposed to the elements for several weeks in the nearly inaccessible woods.
Frank Howell, the undertaker, hired three of the local underemployed to go scrape up the remains. These men properly fortified themselves for their gruesome task with copious quantities of hard cider.
Then each screwed up his courage and approached from the windward. Imagine their surprise when they saw Ed Mendel seated beside the corpse. Ed, too, had been supersaturated with cider and explained, “I’m only exchanging shoes with him. He won’t care and his are new and better than mine and anyway he won’t need his this winter and I will.”
Honey
Jack Vance was a local character. Railroading was a dangerous occupation in its early years. Jack lost a leg working on the Lehigh Valley Railroad. It was a local wise crack that A. B. Willey, a local lawyer, represented Jack in a suit against the railroad, won the case and as a result Jack got a wooden leg and Willey the new home on Lake Street.
Jack needed some honey so he visited John Jackson‘s hives which were located in the orchard at the rear of his home near the railroad tracks. He removed a pail of the honey.
He had fortified his courage with hard cider and in his haste the shoe on his ‘peg’ leg turned around. Mr. Jackson discovered his loss and noticed that the one foot print in the mud was reversed so he went directly to Vance to get pay for the honey.
